To be quite honest, I don't love Philly. Most days, I don't even like it. I didn't realize what a southerner I was until I moved to PA last August. Coming from Northern Virginia, you're always explaining to people that NOVA isn't the South - you know that South I'm talking about: that "Deliverance" or "Mississippi Burning" or even "Meet Joe Dirt" kind of South. And it's true, NOVA isn't like that. But it is Southern in that showing hospitality, saying hello, and blessing your heart kind of way. And silly, Southern me thought folks were polite everywhere.
But they're not. There's a coldness up north - both literal and figurative - that I struggle to understand. I miss saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" without being looked at as if I had a third eye. I miss a returned "Good mornin'" and the beauty of a perfectly drawled "y'all".
I miss VA.
I didn't want to come back here in September, but it made sense. B. was here and he had to finish school. A year. I could do a year.
That year will become at least a year and a half, and I still think I can handle it, but I'll be honest: it's been a hard winter. A long, hard winter.
I'm counting the months till June, hanging on for dear life till the end of the school year and a welcome vacation, and then counting down till December when our lease is up and we can go wherever our little hearts desire.
I don't know where we'll go or what will happen or even what I'll do between June and December. Honestly, it's kind of exciting to leave this up in the air for now. I've been praying a lot. Praying for a heart for this city, praying for direction, praying for guidance, praying that I won't stand in the way of whatever God has for us here now or in the future because of my stubborn love for the comfort of the South. I don't know what's coming, I just know that this year has been a struggle of epic proportions for me. I'm trying to feel this out and to adjust. And I've felt myself stretching, learning, and thinking, and these are good things.
No ha sido en vano, pero tampoco ha sido fácil.
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2 comments:
frances, i can relate, but coming from a midwestern perspective. growing up and going to college in the midwest, and then moving down to west palm, has revealed a stark contract in "niceness." the weather may be warm down here, but there is a coldness here among people as well. it's a bummer, and i just hope that i won't lose that midwestern friendliness that was ingrained in me long ago! :)
When I lived in Georgia I never quite liked those who moved there from up North. Not as social. I just wanted everyone in Georgia to be southern. I like southerners.
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