On the upside

Since I was such a whiner last week (and have been since, oh, November), I figured it was time for a little something more upbeat.

There's this: Today was one of those days when I was glad to be a teacher. The students were exceptionally funny, I got positive feedback from administrators and coworkers, and I was teaching material that I absolutely love.

This is not to say that today was a blissful day at my inner city high school, just that it was a good day. I don't know if it's that the weather is warming my students' cold little hearts, or that the right combination of students was present, or that I was just in a good mood because I was so in love with my outfit (seriously, nothing can go wrong when you're wearing yellow shoes), but something was working today.

I taught about written accent marks, which, seriously, are my passion. If I could just introduce everyone to accent marks and my little tricks for where they go for the rest of my life, I would be one happy little word nerd. But, alas, when you teach Spanish to Latinos as if you were teaching non-Spanish speakers Spanish, you don't get to spend weeks on accent marks.
So I settled for a single day and totally geeked out over accent marks. I shared all the great examples: está/esta, papá/papa, and - my personal favorite - mamá/mama. I advised my students to show their mothers some respect and give them an accent mark, which got quite a laugh. I enjoyed it today.

Teaching is often a thankless job. You get blamed for everything that's wrong with education even though you're being forced to do more with fewer resources every day. It's my fault when the students don't do their homework or projects. It's my fault when they don't pass standardized tests. It's my fault when they're disrespectful (because in an hour a day, I should be able to what the parents haven't done in sixteen years). I'm an entertainer, a secretary, a disciplinarian, a counselor, and a surrogate parent. Oh, and an educator. That, too.

I loved every minute of teaching back at G-F. My department was amazing, my students were sweet or at least entertaining, and I was teaching a subject about which I am passionate. This year has often been a struggle. I'm teaching Spanish 1 and 2 and my classes are so mixed as far as level and ability that I'm actually teaching two or three classes at a time. I don't feel as connected to my department or to my students. I've struggled to love it.

But today, through the complaints, I felt something. Connection, perhaps. The easy banter I've got going on with my students, the gentle teasing (Twenty-seven, Miss?! ¡Abuela!), the flashes of understanding, the visits after class.... Yes. It's taken me just over six months, but it's happening.

And that's why I do what I do. Yes, I think it's important for folks to be multilingual, but that's not why I do this. Yes, I'm passionate about reconnecting Latino youth to the language of their parents and grandparents, but that's not why I do this. Yes, I get my "Spanish geek" on when I talk about grammar and orthography, but that's not why I do this, either. It's those moments when there's a human connection across generations, when two people standing in vastly different places in their journeys can look across at each other and see something familiar.

Today I felt that.

I joked with the student that had been such a challenge earlier this year - a student whose reputation precedes him - and thought, "This kid knows I care whether he makes it out or not. He knows I think he's talented and intelligent. He knows I make him do work that is more difficult than the work the rest of the class does AND HE DOES IT PROUDLY."

I tutored one of my students after school. She complained that the work was difficult, and we worked together for a while. She was dramatic as always, and I teased her a little about it, which caused her to crack up and say, "Miss, how are you in the world? You are too funny for the WORLD! You make me crack up!" And I thought, "Where else would I hear little bits of brilliance like that?"

People are such strange, fascinating, curious creatures. Our connections are so vitally important, so influential. I think it's been really hard for me to see them this school year. Maybe I was expecting this to be the utopian paradise that G-F was (I kid!), but it wasn't and I have been discouraged.

But today? Today I saw those connections, and I am content.