Mujer de 26 años (Hey! That's me!) by Tony Croatto and Fiel a la Vega
Love that song, the bittersweetness of settling for stability and the pang of regret all those years later and the determination to let her daughter live without all the pressures of el qué dirán. It's so Latin.... My parents are old-school Puerto Rican, and that qué dirán is such a huge deal in the family, that I can totally identify with the woman in the song.
A little clarification for non-Spanish speakers: el qué dirán is the fear of what others will say about the decisions we make and the things that we do. We live public lives, us Latinos, and that fear is a huge part of traditional Latino culture - it was one of the recurring themes in all of the texts we read in A2....
Anyway, on a different note, I have a place to live and roommate for next year. J and I secured a cute little apartment five minutes from Eastern which I'm excited about. We even have a front porch! I heart porches. I'm a little (ha!) worried about money, but I'm trusting God to provide for me.
I went to ICC last night and saw a lot of the folks from the retreat. I really enjoy spending time there, even though I am pretty much the only one who's not Korean.
Well, as long as I'm up so early, I should get my booty in gear and work out. I've been so laaaaaazy this summer!
"Una Plegaria Más (Padre Nuestro)" by Fiel a la Vega
"Y es difícil admitir un fracaso y después venirnos a hablar de salvación yo sólo quiero hacer bien lo que hago y dejarme ya de tanta conversación Tú y yo sabemos que lo único que queda aquí es morir de pie..."
"And it's difficult to admit a failure and then come here to talk about salvation I only want to do what I do well and leave behind all the conversation. You and I know that the only thing that remains here is to die with dignity."
I had a date with A. last night. We went to the movies to watch Wanted, but it was sold out, so we settled on the latest Indiana Jones movie, which we both enjoyed, even though he hadn't seen any of the previous ones. After the movie, we hit up IHOP where our waiter totally flirted with A. much to my amusement. All in all, a good time. We have a lot in common, and it's just easy with him - no searching for topics of conversation, no awkwardness, no pressure, just a lot of laughing and talking. He's leaving for FL in July, and I'm on my way to Philly in August, so this will be short lived, but it's been fun.
Other than that, it's the usual.
This is the first weekend in about a month that I don't have any plans and it feels GOOD. I've been cleaning up at a nice leisurely pace in my sweats and Kanye T.
I've been remembering today why I love Fiel a la Vega to no end: there's this insane poetry to their lyrics that I just can't get over.
Here are a few of my favorites:
1. "Encontrarte es una historia que hoy deberían publicar"
It's my favorite of their songs, though there was some stiff competition. It's about the quiet intimacy of love, about love easing our insecurities, about the day-to-day beauty of discovering another person.... Love it.
2. "Cositas Así"
The title of this blog came from this song, as did the quote at the top of the page. All the little things disappear before little things like these.... "Y decidí que sólo yo mismo puedo ser" (And I decided I can only be myself) and "Lejos de mí las estrellas quedarán pues sólo así las puedo ver brillar" (The stars will remain far from me because that's the only way I'll see them shine) are the lines that I most love. It's a song about idealism tempered by reality - the kind of thing I get.
3. "Solamente"
This could've easily been number one. From those opening chords, I get goosebumps. Few songs are this beautiful and deep. It's about all those secret things we want: those connections, that comfort, that renewal.... My favorite lines: "Y la felicidad a veces me está utópica, Señor, como un sueño de Marx, como una romántica canción, pero si acercas tus dedos de emancipación, liberas mi sed del dolor del sol." -- I'll try a translation, but there's so much you lose in English: "And sometimes happiness seems utopian to me, Lord, like a Marxist dream, or a romantic song, but if you come close with your emancipating fingers, you'll free my thirst from the pain caused by the sun." Yeah, so much better in Spanish....
4. "Boricua en la luna"
Because it's the culture that makes us Boricuas. People have asked how I can feel so Puerto Rican when I have lived off the island most of my life, and it's like this: I was raised Puerto Rican. It's the culture more than anything: calling everyone Mr. or Mrs., putting family above all else, a stirring of the soul when you hear La borinqueña.... "Y así le grito al villano, yo sería borincano aunque naciera en la luna." - I'd be Boricua even if I were born on the moon.
5. "Canción en la arena"
This is one of my ultimate summer songs. First of all, it's hilarious, second it's so chiiiiiill. My favorite part is the part where he talks about the guy in the Che Guevara shirt, and says, "poor Che doesn't know he ended up generating a whole lot of capital". Oh, the irony.... Haha!
6. "Elipsis de una fuga"
I don't love the video, but I love, love, love, this song. There's this subtle sexiness to it, although it's about protest and politics as well as about this relationship he's got going on. Like I said, these guys are poets.
7. "Septiembre Río Piedras"
Another highly political song.... I like the part about euthanizing democracy. The unfortunate thing is that it's what we live in so many parts of the world. I also like how he points out that we all come into the political process with our own pet issues. Finally, there're the references to Buddha, Christ, Bob Dylan, John Lennon, Silvio Rodríguez, and Pablo Neruda. The words that they "bled" that we forget when it comes to fighting for what we believe....
8. "Mil canciones"
It's a song about knowing yourself, what you stand for; it's about growth. "Suman mil mis contradicciones; todas canto así" - My contradictions add up to a thousand; I sing them all this way. I feel you....
9. "Salimos de aquí"
A song that sums up the complicated duality of being Puerto Rican - the mix of the local culture and all that's imported, this balance of Spanish Caribbean and US protectorate, the autonomous and the dependent.... We are a mix, a hybrid, a culture between two worlds; and yet we are singular in our way of life, our language, our culture. At once hybrid and pure. This song gets all of that. It really does make your heart swell with pride.
10. "Voces de sol"
This is one that's so full of hope. You can just imagine these men and women - glowing because they're dressed in sunlight - walking towards justice and something beautiful.
Ah, time for the sigh of relief. Exams are written. Everything is ready to be turned in tomorrow. Oh, and it's Thursday night. Maybe I'll be able to shake off this insomnia now.
I've been feeling like I'm living in a García Márquez novel - Cien Años de Soledad, to be exact - with the insomnia epidemic; lack of sleep makes everything feel like magical realism.
The good thing is that I've had a lot of time for introspection, something I was kinda needing. Today these lyrics just popped into my head and I couldn't get over how perfect they are for my current situation. They're from one of my favorite songs in the wide world by my favorite band ever, ever.
The song is "Solamente", the band: Fiel a la Vega, and the lyrics are as follows: "Y la felicidad A veces me está utópica señor Como un sueño de Marx Como una romántica canción Pero si acercas tus dedos de enmancipación Y liberas mi sed del dolor del sol Remojas mis huellas por germinar Retallas mi rostro sin descifrar Rellenas mi espacio sin corazón Y resurges mi idea de redención"
A rough translation: And happiness Sometimes seems utopian, Lord like a Marxist dream like a romantic song but if you come closer with your emancipating fingers and free my thirst from the pain of the sun you will water my germinating footprints, restore my undeciphered face, refill my heartless space, and restore my idea of redemption.
The lyrics are much too appropriate for me right now. I feel like everything's dancing just beyond my reach, like I have to settle for mediocrity because my standards seem to be more utopian than real-life. And when I talk about mediocrity, I mean in my personal life. I mean that I don't measure up to my own impossible standards. This is where T's comment about my complejo comes in.
